Games People Play by Eric Berne Essay

Games people play was actually I really awesome book. I enjoyed reading it very much. I totally now realized now that people do need interaction with others. I never noticed that most depressed people are the way they are because they don’t have enough physical interaction. I also never noticed how people will play games. You aren’t always aware that you are doing it. Like when you play poker. You have a real payoff but you hide your motivations to get there.

What I also learned was that within each person were three selves or “ego states”. Which were, child, adult and parent. They are actually similar to Freud’s (super ego)Parent (ego)adult and (id)child . What really touched me was when Berne started talking about the actually games we play. The ‘if it weren’t for you’ one where the spouse blames the other spouse for something they can’t do or are restricted on but actually deep inside it’s their fault because of some insecurity or fear.

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Another thing that really touched me that I notice I do a lot is the ‘Why don’t you – yes but’ game. Every time I have a problem that I express to my boyfriend when he figures out a solution I tend to find a flaw in it. I literally do this all the time but I usually end up solving it. The ‘See what you made me do game’, my boyfriend uses that one on me all time. He is always looking for someone to blame. One more game I really liked was ‘Wooden leg’ I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen some play this game.

They use the excuse of some kind of default they have just because they are lazy or are not motivated enough to do something. I’ve seen this so much I think from now on I will try harder to read people and figure out what games they are playing. I would tell them they need to stop being like that because many people feel the need to get into fights with those closest to them in order to stay interested. However, Berne mentions, if you play too many ‘bad’ games for too long, they become self-destructive.

The more games you play, the more you expect others to play them too. Basically they would become psychotic who pushes their bias feelings onto others. I love love loved this book. It really got to me. Seeing everyone in it was so true. I love now that in the future I can see this and just know what to do and what situation I’m in. I will even try to get out of games people will try and play with me. I will stop it as fast as possible so that person knows not to play those games with me. I would recommend this book to everyone. It was amazing.


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